At least someone's wearing the pump...

Yep, that's right the stuffed animal is wearing the Pod and loving it I might add...Our Sugar Babie not so much!

We started our Podding adventure last Monday and what an adventure it has been. It has been filled with many tears, pure mental and emotional exhaustion, the highest numbers we have ever seen in a year, diapers, clothes, bedsheets being soaked through morning, noon and night and a little boy who's full of life smile and laughter no longer existed for a week. What was suppose to the best moment of our lives since diagnosis was nothing but.

We got through an awful skin irritation that I was hoping he wouldn't get when we placed our first Pod on a very wiggly toddler and the extra adhesive may have been working too good to keep that sucker super glued to his precious body and I even survived replacing a Pod all by myself...barely but I did it. Did the room look like a crime scene and was my babie screaming his head off...yes, but I did what I had to do when the cannula came out and the smell of insulin lay heavy in the room and all I could think about was how long he had been without insulin and my adrenaline just kicked into overdrive to get his life support back to him.

But the ending of it all for now, was when we headed into our third Pod change and Our Sugar Babie wouldn't let us near the site. He was in so much pain and he wasn't going to let us near that Pod without a fight...and what a fight it was. It broke this mommy's heart to see her babie in that kind of pain and to see the infusion site infection once the Pod was removed. And what broke my heart even more was that my babie was no longer acting like himself and since he can't talk well enough yet for us to understand everything he says, it was hard for him to communicate all of this to us. The pump had changed him and and this mommy wanted her babie back even if that meant we had to make the difficult decision to stop the pump for now and reevaluate our plan of care.

I admit it I am a perfectionist...but diabetes and perfect don't go together. So my expectations were low going into pumping. I knew it wouldn't be perfect. We would see numbers all over the place and it would take time to get them in range. Sugar Babie would more than likely fight Pod placement like he fights shots...yes, I have heard it over and over again...he will settle down with the shots eventually and it won't take two of you to do it anymore...yeah right...they don't know my 2yr old son!

I loved the OmniPod and our trainer Nancy had become not only a member of our treatment team but our family and truly cared about our son. It was a whole new way of doing diabetes from what I was use to and the freedom was like a breath of fresh air. Not having to give shots after meals, not always having to feed insulin and those awful peaks from NPH were a thing of the past...or so I thought. Having all of those things happen, which I know can all be a normal part of the pumping journey within the first week were just too much for all us.

Our Sugar Babie's quality of life is always at the forefront of my mind and he definitely wasn't having the best quality during his first pumping experience. So, it's back to shots for now and it's not such a fight anymore...and as you can see his favorite stuffed animal is wearing the Pod with his favorite mouse to hopefully help him to be more open to Pod pumping in the future.

So we will continue to teach, learn and grow from this. We will get there...I hope...and the Pod will eventually be a part of our family again but for right now, I am feeling alone and like a total failure at this and my heart and spirit are broken because of it. Will we ever get our happy ending?

We prayed, wished and waited for this day to come when we could free ourselves from NPH but we now have to say welcome back my friend, we need you now more than ever so please stop making me crazy and cooperate for once. Please, Oh Pretty Please!